the world is your field of flowers screaming to be pollinated

Sunday, March 5th, 2006 | blogging, faggy tendencies, gossip

Is it wrong when 405 of the 498 unread posts in your RSS feed reader are from blogs of friends/aquaintances/interesting people you subscribed to out of moral conviction/piqueness? Clearly, I have not been catching up on what the blogosphere is up to.

As the Princess knows, I am notorious for not reading the blogs of people I know in person. And if I do read your blog on a regular basis, it is for the following reasons:

I have a crush on you.

I hate your guts and cannot understand why.

You broke my heart and I should hate you but I do not, and only love you even more, and will mine all the information and news that I can find about you on the net.

In the above cases, it would also be known that I will also be monitoring your Friendster, MySpace, Tribe, Facebook, Manhunt, and Gay.com profiles for any indicators and information, and deny that I ever even knew that you had a blog, let alone a social networking profile.

There are some perks being an Information Whore. You start offering to do background checks for friends on their new paramours.

Then again, it would take the fun out of discovery to tell your friend that their paramour slept with ***** who slept with ****** whom you hold dear to your heart and had a threesome with ***** and ****** that weekend when he was still with ***** before he met you.

For those who are curious, the above situation is fictional. Suddenly I am reminded of the time when three queens from the U of M decided to take a road trip to Hotlanta (before I relocated), came back and planted a false rumor about some dalliance with a drag queen, and sat back and waited to see how long it would take to spread to all echelons of the gay community of U of M. The time? A day and a half. Of course, I had nothing to do with that. I did not believe one word of it. First of all, the story permutated too much in too short a time to have been planted properly by the source. However, it was an interesting study of social communication through the metaphorical gayvine.

At the moment, I am in boxers patterned with green dollar signs listening to Queen’s Greatest Hits Album, Disc 2. I have church in 4 hours. It is my way of making Mother happy, by attending church with her when I come-a-visiting once in a blue moon.

Ah, to see the butt of the choral director sashay in front of me as I question his sexuality from the pews. I’m already imagining that he lives with his white boyfriend of 10 years in a house OTP, goes to the Eagle frequently, and secretly laments the fact that he cannot bring his boyfriend to services due to discretion and the level of discomfortness that comes when you are the only white person in a room of two hundred asiantacular people.

It isn’t a punishment I wish upon my greatest enemy. Which isn’t anyone, really. Except for maybe Ann Coulter, on occassion.

The past few days have been a swing of intense feelings. Throbbing pain gave way to intense drynesss of the lips, which in turn gave way to a toothache, and now it’s back to normal, sans the feeling in the skin.

3 Comments to the world is your field of flowers screaming to be pollinated

Mike
March 5, 2006

something funny: I was friends with all 3 of the guys who went to Atlanta and remember when they went and came back, but this is the first I’ve heard of that rumor…lol.

Military
March 5, 2006

I remember that, haha, all those guys thought they were the shit, but they’re not so fuck them :).

Stan
March 5, 2006

Mike, well, from what I can recollect, you were a bit tiffed that they left so sudddenly. And so you were not part of the gossippy brouhahah afterwards.