Good morning

Thursday, September 29th, 2005 | faggy tendencies

“Are you still hanging around with the gay people?”

This definitely wasn’t a question I was expecting at 7 in the morning.

I had gone home on Tuesday to see the family up in L’ville, since I get so few opportunities to see the sisters and family. Granted, something always reminds me why I dread going home in the first place.

Mother knows that I work waay too much. Mother knows that I work too much to have an adequate social life. Mother also knows that I am struggling with some finances. And she dangles the possibility of a care-free, all-expenses-paid lifestyle if I move back home. Heck, my older brother is doing it. And sometimes yes, it does seem very, very appealing. Who wouldn’t say no to having your bills paid, things paid for, and with no need to worry when the next credit card bill was coming in?

But statements like those at 7 in the morning remind me why I left home in the first place.

She doesn’t care that I’m gay. As long as I’m not hanging around with people who help propagate, encourage, and force such a lifestyle on other people. In short, gay activists and drag queens.

These are people who encouraged me to do the sick, bad things in Miami and Boston. Which were: smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol, dating, and having sex. From the look on her face and trickle of disdain, you would think that I had done crack cocaine, crystal meth, and participated in an orgy as the pig bottom. Make that BAREBACK pig bottom.

The first time she found out I was smoking was when she rifled through my photos in my room, found one with a cigarette in my hand, and proceeded to scream, shout, and attempt to drive some evil spirits out of me with her guilt trips.

It wasn’t friends who encouraged all this activity, mind you. I’m usually the pusher.

So yes, I have been reminded. She’s waiting right now for me to reach some sort of tipping point, so I would be forced to crawl back, and everything will be alright again. But until then, I will do what I can to prevent that, even if it means working even harder than i am today.

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