Rice Queens Redux

Tuesday, May 24th, 2005 | I'm a bitch and I know it.

There are a few things in life that make me cringe. Rice queens are one of them. While I think it is perfectly alright that someone can have their own “preferences” when it comes to the type of men or women they will date, what i find appalling and downright scary is when a “preference” for race/ethnicity becomes a “fetish” of not just an individual, but also of a culture and a people in general.

Case in point: Here I am, sitting by the window in Outwrite on my fagtastic powerbook, working on some web-concepts, when what comes in but a couple. Not just any couple, but a younger asian male with a (much) older white lover/boyfriend. Now, I am not saying that this from the onset is automatically that gaysian/older white gay couple stereotype one might see or are familiar with in a gay cultural level, and I started to reprimand myself on jumping to conclusions about other people. But to recognize a rice queen, there are certain signs one must look for. Dress, and topics of conversation.

Dress

A rice queen’s level of fetishism can be gauged with the kind of attire he puts on and the look presented. An occasional tattoo of an asian character is perfectly alright, being that they are so en vogue nowadays. Jade jewelry is perfectly alright too, by themselves. A shirt with asian art or characters is also alright, by itself. However, what I noticed with the white half of the couple I observed, was a multiple of such aforementioned items. A shirt with a Japanese-style wave on the front. A jacket with Chinese dragons and title of an Asian event in a chinky font. I did not notice any tattoos or jewelry, but what I saw was enough to bring me to my conclusion: this was undeniably a Rice Queen. He couldn’t even keep a ethnic continuity in the clothes he chose. Sadly enough, Asian cultures in general have become blurred into one large, pop-exploited mass, easier for non-asians to view and exoticize. (Side Note: His Asian companion was also either Thai or Filipino.) He puts the “Friend” in names of groups like Asian/Pacific Gays and Friends, well known associations for white men to meet Asian guys of their persuasion.

*I am in no way dismissing the importance of such groups for gaysians to meet other gaysians and make friends, but I think many of these groups have become a sort of dating pool, and encourage some very unhealthy notions. Personally, I am terrified of such groups.

Topics of Conversation

I once observed a another white/asian couple sitting together at a table, surprisingly also in Outwrite. I couldn’t help but overhear snippets of their conversation, being a terrible gossip and snoop that I am, but literally, the first topic of conversation shared by the two, and instigated by the older white male, was about how impressed he was with the cultural advances of Chinese civilization. His Asian companion only nodded and agreed, but the white guy went on and on about how much he admired Asian culture, art, and people. While I might understand an underlying praise, what I saw was a praise not for the individual, but for a people, and an abstract of what the people were. When a complete stranger compliments me on my “people’s” excellent work-ethic, or mentions out of the blue that he might know how to say certain basic words in some Asian language, and proceeds to demonstrate without even clarifying what languages I do speak, my mind raises a red flag. This is gross ignorance. The individual has become glossed over with abstracts. It is as if one person observed an Asian-American dude dressed in A&F (an example!), and only saw a geisha, or a rice-paddy farmer.

*FYI: While I am all for colorful language and names during sex or conversation, I draw the line at any use of the word geisha in reference to myself. I find it demeaning and derogatory.

Conclusion

Rice Queens scare me. Mark it up to an extreme experience which involved an in-house Tibetan shrine, rice-paper screens, and the use of sesame oil instead of lube for an au-natural experience, but yes, rice queens scare me. My advice to gaysians are to recognize the signs. Unless you really are a submisssive bottom boy who is only interested in older white men, and revel in being objectified as a cultural toy, a trophy of the white man’s invasion of Asia, and in effect, your body.

5 Comments to Rice Queens Redux

glad
May 25, 2005

SESAME OIL?????????

cheyne
May 25, 2005

How true it is!
Don’t feel bad about jumping to that conclusion. I often find myself making the same conclusion, which always proves to be a prediction.

I hear you on how rice queens can be a really gross ignorance.

That’s what’s cool about Hawaii, we’ve got rice queens that are rice boys themselves, so they respect and bring to the table their own brand of culture!