the sweetest tongue

Taste the Rainbow, indeed.

Friday, February 18th, 2005 | bitter queen

Call me naive, but sometimes I would like to believe that people are not as attentive to details like race in matters such as dating/relationships. I spurn rice queens because I feel like they fetishize certain aspects or expectations of people of my ethnicity. The minute I receive a response to an online profile with a message body of “I love asian men” (I received three so far this week!), I cringe and hold myself back from going into a diatribe against rice queens and other people who date exclusively people of a certain ethnicity. So why shouldn’t I be surprised that the opposite can happen, that someone might not date me just because I am asian? I’m used to rejection and fruitless attempts at pursuit, but usually I can console myself that it could just be because of something regular, like looks (fixed through plastic surgery or a spa regimen), personality (self-analysis and improvement helps), and politics (moderate views help). But ethnicity just strikes at some core that I cannot change (except maybe through extreme plastic surgery like Michael Jacko did).

My ethnicity isn’t something I think about every waking minute. Sure, I might hold some preconceptions about people of my own ethnicity, gross generalizations that hold no ground in rational thought but just pure gut bitchy reaction, but I do not let such thoughts influence my thoughts after I meet the person (to be differentiated from the posses and groups that stick within their own ethnicity). Taste the Rainbow. That is my usual motto.

I would like to believe that I am eligible to the same recognition and cultural capital (sexual capital?) as my fellow queers, but I guess not. I got into Sociology just so I could study the phenomenon of sexual racism and how it affects people of color and their views on relationships and approaches towards romance, but sometimes I forget that I am one being affected by it too.

Michael said (as a white boy himself) that white boys suck. I won’t agree with him, because i would like to believe that there is still hope for white boys out there. I’ll admit that all my past relationships (all two/three of them) have been with hispanic men, but that does not mean that I will date only hispanic men. I am not one of those who like “a little milk in their coffee”. I like my whole milk sometimes, and maybe some soy milk too. but I guess i cannot expect others to share my views.

So all I have to do now is put on the Melissa Etheridge, light up the candles in my room, and read a book. I mean, who needs fags when dykes are just so much more fun?

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