must have winter survival list

Friday, January 2nd, 2004 | journal

In Puerto Rico, it’s just hard to be gay. There aren’t any gay places I can go (I’m sure there are, but they’re just not my scene.), and the only gay people I seem to be able to see are the queens with horrible make-up and tacky fashion sense I see prancing around one of the local mals aound (Plaza Carolina), getting looks and pointed fingers. Sometimes I feel the urge to reach out and grab one of them, and direct them towards the MAC counters and some nicer, less tacky clothing boutiques, maybe even the preppy look of the GAP, since Abercrombie and Fitch stores are nowhere to be found. Honestly.

Ooh, and we must also not forget the goth-wannabes who dress up all in black and with at least one body piercing as a sign of their defiance, and who also “dabble” in the occult. I say “dabble”, because honestly, they just have no real respect for the Powers That Be. It’s 80-90 degree weather, who wears all-black?! These are kids who are then also most likely to own something egyptian in their rooms, and listen to whatever “punk” music MTV may display fo the youth of America. God Bless Cable, and Comcast.

But not all gay eople in PR are like this. There are other groups, one prominent and more appealing (to me) group consists of those boricua homos who have managed to carve a niche for themselves in Puerto Rican Machismo-Driven-by-Media society. These are the (mostly) straight-acting individuals who are not overtly feminine, and who work, in normal jobs and who still proudly wear their rainbow pride, in the shade of rainbow bracelets or necklaces. These are the more sensible ones, less driven by a sense of that homo-attitude and immaturity so easily achievable in a land where husbands are dressed by their wives, and thus go off on every gay man’s ‘dar. Of course, this brings in the significant group of married bisexuals and men “looking or a good time”.

So how does a (c)overt homosexual like myself survive in such an environment? Well, I’m glad you asked. The first thing is loading up on CDs and music most likely to keep myself entertained. These include, amongst other things, a CD filled with Coliseum-esque dance songs, Melissa Etheridge’s album Skin, a copy of the Advocate, and the essential internet connection. In my case, this is a DSL connection on my mother’s laptop.

And one must also take advantage of the winter wishlist. Already, I’ve gotten some requests, which include the Melissa Etheridge DVD Live… And Alone, and the Fischerspooner CD (Casey Spooner is Michael Stipe’s ex!).

And when the CD burner is handy, Kazaa comes into play and more CDs can be made to occupy one’s time and sleepless nights, especialy if you have a stereo system in the room you sleep in, as I do. Music choice has to exhibit not only a minimum quotient of queerness, but also must elicit that inner tingle of excitement, the same one which makes all those twinks at Coli gyrate. Here is the current list of a CD created just an hour ago, and on repeat in the room:

01. Geri Halliwell - It’s Raining Men
02. Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You (Mixed by Hex Hector)
03. Johny McGovern (The Gay Pimp) - Soccer Practice
04. Melanie C - I Turn To You (Hex Hector Mix)
05. Amber - Yes (Hex Hector Mix)
06. Erasure - Gimme Gimme Gimme
07. Deborah Cox - Something Happened on the Way to Heaven (Valentin Club Mix)
08. Deborah Cox - Mr. Lonely (Hex Hector Mix)
09. Deborah Cox - Absolutely Not (Chanel Club Hex Hector Mix)
10. Gloria Gaynor - I Never Knew (Hex Hector Mix)
11. DDR - Smile.Dk - Dragonfly

I just have two weeks left on this island. I already got a tan at the beach, and I’ve been a somewhat nice boy. Showed my cousin Neil from Texas around a bit, developed a greater respect for Jack Daniels Tennessee Whisky, and realized a few life-lessons.

The only urges I se to have right now are to do some designwork on my own computer, get drunk wth some friends, and get into the pants of another man. Mike’s concerned for me, and calls me a nympho. Thanks.

This could be the last time I spend winter in Puerto Rico, with the family moving off to Atlanta and all. But that’s just at the back of my mind right now.